I took the antique cedar box and polished it until it had a shine like a brand new nickel. In the inside of the upper lid, I pasted a photo of me playing the fiddle on the stage of the Ryman Auditorium. It is amazing what we might think will serve to convey the feelings within our hearts. I was still in my teens and this was meant to win the heart of a young lady that I thought had hung the moon. At least she did a pretty close job of it for me at that time. But once again I found myself on the end of a spear called rejection.
I spent so much of my youth punctured with that thing; I thought I was a ready made shish k bob ready to be cooked on the grill of life.
I always thought I peaked early. I had a beautiful girlfriend when I was in kindergarten but it was all downhill from there.
Overcoming rejection though took a great deal of toughening. As a pre-teen, I sometimes found myself sitting on the back porch with my dog Track resting his head on my lap and me resting my head on his crying my eyes out over some girl who wouldn’t have anything to do with me.
The names of most now not even a memory, but at the time they made such an impression in my world.
As the boy moved towards manhood, I realized such a reaction was really not manly,
and the pain seemed to move from the outside in. Of course, my dad taught me some lessons as well as he introduced me to the stories of two young men whose rejections pushed them into reacting desperately – one harming another and the other harming himself. Those lessons early in life helped me put things in prospective, that no situation warrants such a response.
While some found high school and endless trial period for relationships, that was not my experience, even my prom dates thought coming with me was just a slightly better option than staying at home and washing their hair.
Unfortunately, even as I reached the world of adult dating, I still managed to always pick someone who would – to steal a line from Lewis Grizzard – “tear out my heart and stomp that sucker flat.”
One of the first made such an impact that totally restructured my life, body, appearance, and wardrobe, to win her back. It took over a year but I did win another chance, only to discover that what I was trying to win was no longer part of my heart. I had moved on in the effort to change.
I guess it was another phase in the toughening.
I think years of rejection prepared me for my life in entertainment. Acting and music is nothing but a string of rejections that build you to the point that you understand that it often takes 99 negatives responses to receive the positive that will change your life. At least that is sometimes how it feels, trying to get a role or another opportunity to perform musically.
Does rejection get any easier as life progresses? That has not been my experience. I have found that God does provide us the ability to better cope with experiences that impact us negatively. By a closer walk with Him I have been able to understand those challenges no matter whether the rejection came in my professional or personal life.
The greatest lesson I have learned on the personal side is people are often not on the same path and rejection simply is directional sign to send us another way in life. The same I think is true on the professional side.
Does that make it easier? No. Does it make us better and stronger? If we desire it.